If you’re devaluing yourself, you’ll need to learn to turn this behaviour around if you want to enjoy your life and your weight loss. So, stop selling yourself short and say what it is you really want or need…
The idea of discounting comes from transactional analysis. It means ignoring some aspect of ourselves which could otherwise be used to solve problems or face challenges. If left unchecked, it can hinder our ability to enjoy our lives and lose weight.
‘When I ask my clients what is meant by discounting, most will link it to bargain basement shops where goods are priced down,’ says therapist Mandy Cassidy. ‘In a way they’re not far off the mark. The fact is, if you’re discounting yourself you’re effectively devaluing yourself – or, to put it bluntly, selling yourself cheap. This can present all sorts of obstacles to losing weight and being healthy.’
In general, there are four types of discounting, all of which involve passive behaviour. Those of us who are prone to discounting ourselves or others often find our needs are not met, which leads to despair and frustration. Here, we look at how to stop doing this and turn over a new leaf.
Start taking account
In order to stop discounting yourself – and others – you need to change your behaviour and take account of your actions. Here are some suggestions to get you on track…
If you want to start accounting, then firstly identify three behaviours during the coming week that involve discounting.
- Putting off paying the overdue heating bill.
- Saying ‘yes’ to my neighbour’s homemade biscuits even though I’m on a diet.
- Getting angry with a colleague for not doing his job properly and leaving things to you.
This means solving your problems – and take a different action. For example:
- Paying the overdue heating bill.
- Telling my friend I don’t want her biscuits as I’m losing weight – and not stressing about it!
- Speaking to my work colleague calmly and professionally to tell him why I think he’s not pulling his weight and work with him to improve the situation.
By recognising this behaviour and making an effort to change, you can start to live your life more positively.