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LighterLife book club: I Love You But You Always Put Me Last

May 1, 2014 - Lifestyle

i-love-you-but-you-always-put-me-last-978023077035501Many couples admit to struggling at juggle parenting responsibilities with caring for their relationship. Established wisdom is that you should prioritise the kids over all else, but is sacrificing your own needs really healthy? Not so much, argues relationship therapist Andrew G. Marshall.

I Love You But You Always Put Me Last is about balancing your priorities so you don’t lose sight of your marriage when you become a parent. But did it resonate with our LighterLife book clubber? Here’s what she had to say…

Review by Gemma Savage, South Wales
Andrew Marshall admits to not having children, which is clearly evident given some of the suggestions he makes in this book. As a full time working mum and wife, who earns a very similar salary to her husband and has limited childcare, I found the book quite condescending and at times, very 1960s in its approach – particularly as a lot of the examples relate to the husband being the breadwinner. The suggestion that the husband’s job takes priority and that wives should put their husbands first and before the children who are ‘just passing through’ was a clear way of provoking a reaction from female readers!

That said, I continued to read and some of the suggestions within the book are useful, especially the priorities exercise, which it is recommended that both partners complete. The summary at the end of each chapter is also helpful, as are the ‘Ten Golden Rules’ at the end of the book.  As with all ‘self help’ books, many of the suggestions would be wonderful if we lived in an ideal world, but in modern day life they may not be possible for all to achieve, and certainly not me!